she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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