so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
