youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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