so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
