I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
there's paper in my vomit.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
