I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
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I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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