i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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