I think scott just propositioned me for sex
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
