Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
