The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize