well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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