She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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