your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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