You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
