R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
