I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
