as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
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merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
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Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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