spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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