I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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