I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
