And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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