Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
