At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
