took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
