I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
