Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
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All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
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If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
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