Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize