Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I want a musical about memes.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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