I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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