I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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