it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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