no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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