I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
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My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
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im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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