i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize