So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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