If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
