yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
