I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.