It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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