is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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