It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I will be naked everywhere
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
