I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
