he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
