I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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