yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
