They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
