it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
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Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
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Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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