I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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