It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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