So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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