i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
