i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize