just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
