I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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