i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
But break dance skills will only take you so far
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I am naked and annoyed.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
