She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
