I can tuck mytits in my pants
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Two words: blizzard sex
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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