True but thats because hes a fetus.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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