After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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