I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
