So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I cockslap morals
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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