so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
