OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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