I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
